Questioning Faith

Disclaimer: This is not a post about religion, but there may be some parallels, hence the title.

You will often hear that one of the best ways to learn is by teaching. In fact, if you watch my first video, you'll hear me say it, and I do believe it. However, sometimes when you're teaching something, you find that you don't actually understand it the way that you'd like to.

Now, you may understand a concept well enough to apply it in practice, or well enough to communicate it effectively. But when you delve a little deeper, you may see that there is more to understand than has been discovered. Let's take gravity, for example. On Earth, gravity can essentially be reduced to the concept "Shit Falls." If you let go of something, it moves downwards until it hits something else. However, if you look at it in a cosmic sense, or a relativistic sense, or a quantum sense, gravity is something different entirely. And the more you think of it from all of these different angles, the harder it can be to remember that Shit Falls.

I've noticed this a bit with my poker game recently. A few weeks ago, just after joining Drag the Bar, I started trying to break down Limit Holdem into a million pieces. Well, more like fifty pieces. I started categorizing all of the things that I want to make videos on, all of the ways I want to make videos, and all of the different ways I could break things down.

The trouble with breaking things down into too many pieces is that it's hard to put them all back together. I'm now expending a lot more mental energy when I play, because I'm considering everything that I've been reconsidering, which is everything! It's sort of a loss of faith by design. Well, now it's time to start putting those things back together, again by design.

I've done this in the past several times. Take my game apart, struggle some, then put it back together stronger than it was before. It turns out that these lapses of faith are just growing pains.