When It Leaks, It Floods

If when it rains, it pours, then when it leaks, it floods. I have neither slept more than an hour nor eaten more than a snack since 11 AM yesterday morning. That's 41 hours of less than perfect existence. At least I received my weekly affirmation that I'm a little bit clutch.

Today's high jinks began at 9 in the morning when my friend and former student came by to repair the plumbing mess left by the guy who's been "fixing" the house. My guy is a master plumber, which means he knows his shit (the other guy, not so much). He replaced the valves on all of the heaters, repaired the leaky toilet downstairs (which had hot water melting the wax sealing it to the floor), and replaced the pipe beneath our clogged sink. He also shut off the gas and electricity which had been carelessly left on in the boiler in the basement. That's the thing that could've blown up.

The only thing he didn't repair was the pipe leading to and from the dishwasher. He asked if it was leaking, we said no (it wasn't), and he said it would probably be fine. Turns out it wasn't fine. I don't blame him for that. He already did us a huge favor by coming to fix everything two days before his knee surgery. He asked if the pipe was leaking, we said no, and that was that.

The guy I blame is the one who's been doing shoddy work throughout the house, and the guy who left the gas and electricity going to the boiler, ambivalent to whether or not we got blown up. (When confronted about this, he gave some bullshit excuse and acted snotty.)

Long story short (too late), we ran the dishwasher twice today. The first time we watched it like hawks and it ran smoothly. The second time, I sat in my office while the pipe broke about and blew water all over the kitchen, into the bedroom, bathroom and living room (and the shower downstairs). Once alerted to the disaster, however, I ran to the sink and grabbed the knob next to the spraying water. I turned it counter clockwise and it sprayed my face more forcefully. I turned it clockwise and the geyser subsided. Fortunately, we'd recently purchased two 12 packs of paper towels. We need to get a new one tomorrow.

Two hours and one blog later, the floor is dry and I'm exhausted. I hope this blog isn't incoherent, because I feel a bit delirious. I always look for the bright side in things, but right now the best I can come up with is humor. My life has become Grade-A slapstick. And hey, I still haven't gotten blown up yet.

1 comment:

  1. "My guy is a master plumber, which means he knows his shit"